Bacon-Weave Armadillo Eggs (Stuffed Smoked Pork Tenderloin)

Ingredients

• 700g pork tenderloin (one whole loin, silver skin removed)
• 150g full-fat cream cheese, softened to room temperature
• 75g mature cheddar, coarsely grated
• 3 jalapeños, deseeded and finely diced
• 2 spring onions, finely sliced
• 1 garlic clove, grated
• 2 tbsp Texas-style BBQ rub (heavy on black pepper, paprika, garlic, brown sugar)
• flaky sea salt
• 12 rashers smoked streaky bacon (you want long, even rashers)
• 1 tbsp Texas-style BBQ rub
• 2 tbsp BBQ sauce, for glazing
• ¼ white cabbage, finely shredded
• ¼ red cabbage, finely shredded
• 1 large carrot, coarsely grated
• 2 spring onions, finely sliced
• 3 tbsp buttermilk
• 3 tbsp mayonnaise
• 1 tbsp cider vinegar
• 1 tsp Dijon mustard
• 1 tsp caster sugar
• flaky sea salt and black pepper

Method

1. Set up your kettle BBQ for indirect smoking at around 110–120°C — coals banked to one side, a chunk or two of oak or hickory on top, and a foil tray of water on the cool side to keep the air humid. Get this stable before the meat goes anywhere near it — chasing temperature with the pork already on is a losing game.
2. Make the filling: mix the softened cream cheese, grated cheddar, diced jalapeños, spring onions and grated garlic in a bowl with a good pinch of flaky salt. Stir the raw garlic through gently — it's going into a cold filling so it won't burn, but keep it to one clove; any more and it dominates the smoke. The cream cheese MUST be properly soft or you'll tear the pork trying to spread it — leave it out for a full hour if needed.
3. Butterfly the tenderloin: lay it flat and slice horizontally down the long side, stopping before you cut all the way through, so it opens like a book. Cover with cling film and gently bash with a rolling pin until it's an even 1.5cm thick rectangle. Even thickness now means even cooking later — thin ends overcook while the middle's still pink otherwise.
4. Season the inside of the butterflied pork with a pinch of salt, then spread the filling over it in a thick, even layer, leaving a 1cm border along the long edges so it doesn't squeeze out when you roll. From the long side closest to you, roll it up tight into a log, finishing seam-side down.
5. Build the bacon weave on a sheet of greaseproof: lay 6 rashers vertically, side by side and just touching. Fold every other rasher halfway back on itself, lay a horizontal rasher across the unfolded ones, then unfold the bent rashers back over it. Repeat, alternating which rashers you fold, until you've woven all 6 horizontal rashers in. Looks fiddly, takes 90 seconds once you start.
6. Tip the BBQ rub onto a plate and toast it dry in your hand for a moment — rub off a pinch between your fingers and smell it; the paprika and pepper should bloom warm and fragrant rather than dusty. Season the outside of the pork log all over generously, then place it seam-side down at the edge of the bacon weave. Using the greaseproof to help, roll the weave up around the pork so the seam ends up underneath. Dust the outside of the weave with the extra tablespoon of rub.
7. Transfer to the cool side of the BBQ, seam-side down, lid on, vents set to maintain 110–120°C. Smoke for 1 hour 30 minutes to 1 hour 45 minutes, until the internal temperature at the thickest part reads 63°C and the bacon is rendered and bronze. If your bacon looks pale and flabby at the 1 hour mark, nudge a few coals across to lift the heat — pale bacon is the one thing that ruins this dish.
8. In the last 15 minutes, brush the bacon all over with BBQ sauce and close the lid again to let it tack up into a sticky lacquer. Pull when the internal hits 63°C — the temperature carries up to 68–70°C while it rests, which is juicy and just-cooked through.
9. Rest the log on a board, loosely tented with foil, for a full 15 minutes. Cutting early means the cheese filling pours out and the pork loses its juice — patience here is the whole game.
10. While it rests, make the slaw: whisk the buttermilk, mayo, cider vinegar, mustard, sugar and a good pinch of salt and pepper in a large bowl — the splash of vinegar is what stops the dressing from going cloying against the smoked pork. Add both cabbages, carrot and spring onions and toss hard with your hands until every shred is coated. Taste, season, taste again — it should land sharp, sweet and properly salted; adjust now, not at the table.
11. Slice the rested log into thick 2cm pinwheels with a sharp serrated knife, sawing gently so the bacon weave doesn't tear. Pile the pinwheels onto the toasted brioche buns, spoon the buttermilk slaw alongside, top with dill pickle slices and pickled jalapeños, drizzle with warm BBQ sauce and scatter with chopped parsley. Each slice should show the spiral of pork, melting cheese and bacon edge.